Weather: You Confuse Us

Once again nursing chapped faces and emitting the scent of winter’s cologne – Vicks Vapor Rub, the chant around here has been “GO AWAY WINTER!” (clap clap) “GO AWAY WINTER”

And then the other night:

“Good Night Sophia. I love you so much.” “Good Night Mommy, I love you so much.”

“Good Night Olivia. I love you so much.”

silence

“Merry Christmas Mommy.”

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Highly Recommended

Reasons to Never Ask Me to Submit a Recommendation Form for You: The chances of it being late are high to fairly high.

Reasons to Ask Me to Submit a Recommendation Form for You: When I am late, the energy and enthusiasm with which I will pursue your Appointed Deciding Body and throw myself before them in utter disgrace while emphatically highlighting all of your attributes could possibly outweigh any words on a form. At the least you (and unfortunately I) will be memorable.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

(after the beep) “Hi, um, Mr. _____ , I am calling on behalf of M.G. I just submitted a recommendation form and I realize that is is a horrifying 5 DAYS LATE. There really is no excuse for this except for my incredible incompetence. I am begging you to please do not let this in any way reflect on M.G. She is higly astute, diligent and professional. She gave me plenty of time and guidance regarding the form. The failure is all mine. And really our relationship is one of  pity – her for me. So don’t let the fact that she is associated with someone of my dysfunction be any reflection on her character or potential for the future – especially in your program, which I am most positive she will be a shining star. And you can call me, at my, umm, office with any further questions.”

3 minutes later

(after the beep) “Hello Ms. _______, Assistant to Mr. ______. It appears he is out of the office. I am calling on behalf of your scholar M.G. I was late getting in a recommendation form in for her. And I actually think I sent it twice because the first time it was only half done and I accidentally hit submit… But please know that M.G. gave me months of notice. And really, I have had it done, just hadn’t been able to send it because, you know with no internet here in the jungle where I do research, I can’t really work on deadlines. But I did discover a cure to a rare condition found in the leaves of the banana plant. Reminds me of the many facinating discussions M.G. and I have had about science, all in  Latin of course….

And finally:

(after the beep) Hi, umm, Mr. ____ and Ms.______ and Anyone at Your Institution NOT ON SPRING BREAK. I am calling on behalf of M.G. I want to recommend her for your program. She would be an incredible asset to your team – an energetic, determined, intelligent and articulate leader. I apologize for the tardiness in my recommendation. There really is no excuse. I did recently do a personality profile which revealed that I am a bit low in “production efficiency” but I am extremely high in “guilt” which is why both your voicemail box and your inbox are currently full. Regardless, I wholeheartedly recommend you take M.G. for the semester abroad. One more thing- Can I come too? I mean since we’ve gotten to know each other so well…? What if I promise to be on time?

Scent Compensation

There is a phantom diaper in my house. It haunts me. At my core, I fear that somehow, I missed it.  I keep no dirty diaper trash in my house anymore. I gave up the “Diaper Champ” about a year ago. I just don’t believe. Diapers go straight out the back door to the trash can. But every now and then when everyone’s business is accounted for, the smell creeps up and enfolds me – and then I turn the house upside in an attempt to seek and destroy.

I haven’t found it yet, but the fear is compounded with wondering if my house smells all the time and/or so do I.

Thus my commitment to candle burning.

Last week I went to the Yankee Candle, superstore and family amusement park, and smelled endless scents. I finally decided on “Early Sunrise,” got home, lit it and was overwhelmed with the scent of citranella. I love a good campground as much as the next person, but it wasn’t quite what I was going for.

Enter my Secret Supplier. I have a friend who works at Bath and Body Works and she brought me their Lavendar Vanilla Three Wick Candle.

 Love it.

 I have to confess Bath and Body Works is winning my candle-shopping heart. Why wouldn’t we expect it from the people who bring us 65 different “flavors” of bubble bath and “vanilla-infused” lounge socks? These people know indulgence. They know escape. They know we are all trying to hide something.

So this jury is in. These candles are simply superior. Now, if they could just get it to fake snow year round like the YC, they will enjoy all my patronage this spring. Because we are about to start the one life phase possibly more candle-needing than diapers – potty training.

And some nostalgia…

for those who found themselves around the Strickland Dinner Table at any point during the years 1990-1993. This image is reminiscent of another petite blonde with boundless energy and a love of spandex.

(It wasn’t me. I would have been the chunky one with a permanent look of disapproval. About everything.)